I have been dealing with issues of bullying most of my life. As a kid I was bullied at school and out in the community. There were also times when I bullied other people. Going through life I have found that strategies evolve and that what once worked does not neccesarily work again. Its true that what works for one person may not work for another anyway, but what worked for me once may not work for me again?
One of the key things we need to remember when dealing with bullying is that there are no magic solutions, no quick fixes, no one best strategy that will always work. We need to have a range of startegies available for us to use and adapt. The reason for this is that its not just about us, its also about the bully and how strong/smart/aware they areand how many people back them. Its also about the situation - no situation is ever the same. Its also about who else is around/involved at the time.
We need to work for empowerment. Dealing with bullying is a survival skill, a set of skills that includes, social skills, communication skills and physical skills to be worked on, improved, trained, honed and practiced.
People have said to me that to experience bullying makes you a stronger person and that therefore bullying is a good thing for us all to experience. What these people do not realise is that some people suffer bullying so badly that they want to kill themselves. I have pondered these thoughts for a long time and I do see the truth in experiencing difficulties making us stronger. It was Frankle that said 'that which does not kill me maks me stronger'. This realistion led me to develop a series of anti-bullying rolelays where people can experience bullying in a 'safe' space and at the same time practice strategies for dealing with the bullying. These roleplays, very close to the concept of a psychodrama, have had tremendous success and is now one of the techniques I use with people who have been bullied. The bullying roleplay is not for the feinthearted, it is also not for the untrained. If you want to practice intensive antiu-bullying roleplays, make sure that you have had adequate training in the techniques required.
Roleplays allow you to practice in a safe place without fear of intimidation or ridicule. They also give you the chance to look at a strategy from different angles and howt might be adaptable in different situations.
So I now hold true with Frankle that what does not kill you can make you stronger. The key to survival is adaptability.
Last month we were invited to do some work in Zambia. We ran some training workshops for teachers in Livingstone and consulted street children in Lusaka and Kitwe about a school on the street project. Zambia is a fantatsic country; welcoming, hot, diverse and friendly. When we spoke with the children they talked about wanting to go to school but not having the money, unlike in the UK where many kids complain of having to go to school. Many street children in Zambia are Aids/HIV orphans and have HIV/Aids themselves and live a hand-to-mouth existence.
